You Know You're An Old Soul When...

1.) Your past lives out number the bristles in your toothbrush.

2.) You collect spore samples and then eat them.

3.)Your chakras have reformed into the shape of a skull & crossbones.

4.) Even your aura has varicose veins.

5.) You mention your mantra at restaurants and get instant senior citizen discounts.

6.) The word "expired" is stamped on your forehead.

7.) Your soul cataracts are so bad that your third eye goes blind. (Lori Tostado)

8.) You begin to free-base using the dried, crystallized remnants of Michael's old bathwater.

9.) After watching a television special on ancient Egypt, you find yourself empathetically wrapping your body with toilet paper, and ceremoniously farting mummy dust.

10.) Someone asks what's your favorite soup, and you smugly reply, "Primordial."

11.) Your chakras start giving in to gravity: "They've fallen and they can't get up!" (Lori Tostado)

12.) Strange voices urge you to build a coffin.

13.) The inside of your mouth tastes like the contents of your cat's litter box.

14.) Men wearing white suits and carrying Geiger counters arrive at your home and ask if you have any next of kin.

15. You can remember a past life when you were the first person to walk erect.

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